Customer Intimacy in Financial Services: Building Genuine Connections in Banking

“It’s all about the customer.” This famous Jeff Bezos quote still holds true today and perhaps nowhere more than in financial services. In an era dominated by digital transformation, personalization features, and customer data strategies, something crucial is being lost: the human touch.

This evolution pushes the traditional term of customer centricity towards deeper notions like customer intimacy or even customer obsession. Ultimately, these concepts all point to the same goal: putting your customer at the centre, listening actively, and making them feel truly special.

While most financial institutions claim to be “customer-centric,” many customers still feel abandoned. Why? Because true customer intimacy goes far beyond personalization tokens or sleek mobile interfaces. It’s about genuinely understanding your customer’s context, emotions, and needs, and offering the right support at the right time.

Customer intimacy is not just a buzzword. It’s a mindset. A commitment to making the customer feel seen, heard, and valued, not as a data point, but as a person. In financial services, this is both more difficult and more critical than in many other sectors. After all, you’re dealing with money, security, and often deeply personal life decisions.

Historically, customer intimacy happened naturally. Fifty years ago, everyone knew their banker. Branches were embedded in local communities, staffed by people who understood their clients’ lives.

Today, that connection is gone. Most branches have closed or merged into larger, impersonal locations. Bankers rotate frequently due to promotions or specialization, and most human interactions have been replaced by web portals, mobile apps, and chatbots.

Despite all the digital bells and whistles, like personalized birthday messages, tailored recommendations, dashboard widgets or gamification (cfr. my blog “Gamification - A good idea for a serious topic like financial services?” - https://bankloch.blogspot.com/2021/02/gamification-good-idea-for-serious.html), the emotional gap remains. Even with tools like PFM and saving goals (cfr. my blog “PFM, BFM, Financial Butler, Financial Cockpit, Account Aggregator…​ - Will the cumbersome administrative tasks on your financials finally be taken over by your financial institution?” - https://bankloch.blogspot.com/2020/02/pfm-bfm-financial-butler-financial.html), Save Now, Buy Later (cfr. my blog “Is SNBL more sustainable than BNPL?” - https://www.finextra.com/blogposting/22453/is-snbl-more-sustainable-than-bnpl), or third-party integrations aiming to create super-apps (cfr. my blog “From app to super-app to personal assistant” - https://bankloch.blogspot.com/2020/08/from-app-to-super-app-to-personal.html), few customers describe their banking experience as intimate. That sense of belonging has been lost.

So, this raises the question: Can larger, digital-first banks create that feeling of being seen as a unique, valued customer?

In my view, four elements are still missing in digital financial services and without them, the experience will never feel truly human:

• Lack of Meaningful Context and Nuance
• The Obsession with Efficiency & Frictionless Journeys
• A Genuine Hybrid Engagement Model
• Be a Proactive, Non-Intrusive Partner

Lack of meaningful context and nuance

Most digital personalization remains shallow. For example: A human banker would know that a customer with a large savings balance is renovating their house and needs liquidity, not investment advice. But many digital systems, lacking context, would push the latter.

This lack of nuance and understanding creates frustration. Customers are not opposed to digital experiences, in fact, they appreciate efficiency. But the challenge is knowing when and how to blend human insight into those experiences.

The Obsession with Efficiency & Frictionless Journeys

Financial services often chase total frictionlessness: one-click payments, instant loans, automated investments…​ But some friction is good. It signals care and warmth and, in some cases, a little friction also adds value.

For example, in fraud prevention, a well-timed prompt or friction to double-check a suspicious transaction, can make customers feel protected and create a trust-building moment. (cfr. my blog “The Missing Link in Fraud Prevention: Real-Time Customer Dialogue”

• “https://bankloch.blogspot.com/2025/06/the-missing-link-in-fraud-prevention.html”).
  In investment planning, visual simulations and detailed questionnaires build trust as they show the bank is doing its due diligence and trying to advise the customer on best possible product (i.e. type of product, duration, interest scheme…​).

These thoughtful interruptions aren’t barriers; they’re value moments that demonstrate customer intimacy.

A Genuine Hybrid Engagement Model

Customer intimacy doesn’t mean going fully human or fully digital. It means knowing when and how to bring people into the experience.

But the human touch must feel authentic:

• It should be personal and empathetic, not quota-driven.
• There should be continuity, not a different advisor every time.
• Human contact should happen when it adds value, not for simple tasks.
• And most importantly, customer preferences must guide the balance between digital and human. Everyone defines “simple” and “complex” differently. Some prefer self-service even for big decisions, others want guidance. Systems must adapt accordingly.

From personal experience, the few times I do speak with a human at my bank, the interaction often turns into a cross-sell attempt. That’s not empathy, that’s a sales funnel.

Be a Proactive, Non-Intrusive Partner

True customer intimacy means being present at the right moments, not just when it suits the bank, but when it genuinely matters to the customer. This is not about chasing sales targets or pushing offers. It’s about showing up with relevant, timely value, without being disruptive or overbearing.

Steven Van Belleghem illustrates this beautifully with the metaphor of the oxpecker and the rhino. The oxpecker perches on the rhino’s back, quietly cleaning its skin and alerting it to danger. It doesn’t annoy or distract, it serves a purpose. It’s a constant companion, but one that’s welcomed and appreciated.

This is the exact posture that banks and insurers should adopt in their customer relationships.

To be a proactive, non-intrusive partner, financial institutions must:

• Anticipate needs before the customer articulates them. For example, noticing recurring late fees and suggesting a simple payment automation. Or detecting a customer’s life phase (e.g. becoming a parent, nearing retirement) and offering relevant financial planning content or tools.

• Show up at key life moments (buying a home, starting a business, changing jobs) not just with products, but with guidance, simulations, or scenario planning.

• Use insights responsibly. There’s a thin line between helpful and creepy. Customers will gladly accept a proactive nudge if it feels personalized and considerate, not if it feels like surveillance.

• Avoid interruption overload. Push notifications, email offers, in-app pop-ups…​ They all add up. When every interaction feels like a pitch, trust erodes.

• Build credibility through small, silent wins. Not every value-add needs fanfare. Quietly flagging a duplicated payment, optimizing an insurance bundle, or pre-filling forms during tax season, these small moments create lasting loyalty.

This kind of service isn’t easy. It requires data intelligence, sensitivity to customer context, and a well-calibrated balance of automation and empathy.

But when done right, it creates the feeling that your financial partner is always there, not watching over your shoulder, but having your back.

Transform to Customer Intimacy

Addressing these challenges requires more than cosmetic fixes. It calls for smarter technology and this is where AI and fintech can make a real difference.

Artificial Intelligence is a powerful enabler of intimacy if used wisely. It can:

• Detect life events and behaviour patterns in real time
• Guide when and how to introduce human interaction
• Add “smart friction” where appropriate
• Route customers to the best-fit advisor, based on history or personality

Fintechs, with their agility and innovation, are leading the way here, leveraging data, user-centric design, and proactive insights to create more meaningful customer experiences. But traditional institutions can learn and adapt.

In today’s saturated financial market, product features and interest rates are no longer enough. Emotional connection, trust, and respect are the new differentiators.

The institutions that win will be those that combine digital excellence with emotional intelligence, delivering service that is always relevant, always respectful, and deeply human.

Because at the end of the day, customers don’t remember how fast they got approved. They remember how their financial institution made them feel.

For more insights, visit my blog at https://bankloch.blogspot.com