In 1981, I began to experience the parting of life and death. At first, it was attending other people's funerals, feeling curious and regretful, thinking this kind of thing was still far from me, completely unable to understand the sadness of losing a loved one. It wasn't until I lost my father that I realized this sadness is incurable, unavoidable, and inescapable. This pain will slowly hide with time; during busy times or when tired, I might forget everything, including the sadness. Yet, in the quiet of the night, it resurfaces, thinking of the times when you were still here, remembering the little things about you, and contemplating the future pain of losing my mother. Life feels like hell; days pass like years. How should I live in the future? How should I go on? Will I have the courage to experience the pain of losing a loved one again? I feel utterly powerless. As more people around me leave this world one by one, my worries grow stronger. Perhaps this is something all us 80s generation must face, just at different times. As we, the 80s generation, approach 50, how much longer can we hold on?